I'm Not Thin, I Can't Grin

When I think of that black forest gateaux,
with its cream and chocolate and stuff,
I wish I hadn't have eaten it all.
I should've known I'd had enough.

Because now I'm on a diet,
of rabbits' food - lettuce leaves,
and looking at my shape
makes my heart feel all aggrieved.

I feel so very angry,
and such a stupid prat.
I was already eleven stone,
but now, well, I'm over that!

So, it's bloomin' fruit and veg,
and salads by the score.
I promise scales, if you say I'm thin,
I'll not eat gateaux anymore.

I've really paid the price,
of loving food too much,
so now I'm starving myself
and not eating any lunch.

I go out for longish walks,
and jog, sweating buckets,
but I don't lose any weight,
maybe it was eating those chicken nuggets.

It's no good, I'm still a size eighteen,
breathing in,
Oh! I'm gonna have a biscuit,
yeh, you're right, I'm giving in.

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